Yesterday I buckled down and got the rows all sewn together for Ashcombe. It still needs its piano key border, which will finish it off nicely. I have it draped over the upstairs railing for the photo. It would have been a good idea to give the top a good shaking to get all the loose threads off, but you can get the idea, threads and all.
Some of you have asked after Grandpa Larry. I went to see him yesterday, and he is still hanging in there. He has gotten very thin and really has lost most of his marbles, but he always has a sweet smile on his face. I wonder if even when a person gets dementia their true personality continues to shine through the fog? I have an aunt who was always kind of ornery, and when she got Alzheimer's she was as mean as a snake. She had the idea her neighbor was sneaking under the fence at night and picking her flowers, so whenever the poor woman was out hanging out her laundry, my feisty aunt would turn the hose on her.
My father in law, on the other hand, has always been the kindest, sweetest man on the planet, and here he is, not really remembering anything or anyone, but always with a nice smile to share. Good natured right to the end.
How do you think you will be in your dotage? Cranky or kind? I can just see me–blythely scattering bits of fabric and threads everywhere and my husband trailing along behind me, sweeping, mopping up, and scolding me.
I do not mean to make light or be flippant about Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia. It is a terrible disease and takes a dreadful toll on families. I have the utmost respect for those who are caregivers. Every day their kindness and patience makes life bearable for those afflicted with the disease.
33 responses to “Ashcombe, Together At Last”
My mother passed away on Saturday after dealing with Alzheimer’s for 21 years. She was always sweet and kind. We were fortunate that as the disease progressed, she continued to be just as sweet and only reverted backwards and thought she was a teenager. I have read of people whose personalities changed drastically after the onset of dementia and am so grateful that we didn’t have to deal with something like your aunt. Watching a loved one go through is disease is difficult enough.
You mentioned in your previous post about using this quilt as a possible gift sometime. My quilt group generously donated lap quilts to the nursing home my mom lived in. Maybe this is another avenue for you to use your talent for quilting. It was always so touching to see a resident with one of these lap quilts. And on her deathbed, Mom was covered with one of the quilts.
My mother passed away on Saturday after dealing with Alzheimer’s for 21 years. She was always sweet and kind. We were fortunate that as the disease progressed, she continued to be just as sweet and only reverted backwards and thought she was a teenager. I have read of people whose personalities changed drastically after the onset of dementia and am so grateful that we didn’t have to deal with something like your aunt. Watching a loved one go through is disease is difficult enough.
You mentioned in your previous post about using this quilt as a possible gift sometime. My quilt group generously donated lap quilts to the nursing home my mom lived in. Maybe this is another avenue for you to use your talent for quilting. It was always so touching to see a resident with one of these lap quilts. And on her deathbed, Mom was covered with one of the quilts.
My mother passed away on Saturday after dealing with Alzheimer’s for 21 years. She was always sweet and kind. We were fortunate that as the disease progressed, she continued to be just as sweet and only reverted backwards and thought she was a teenager. I have read of people whose personalities changed drastically after the onset of dementia and am so grateful that we didn’t have to deal with something like your aunt. Watching a loved one go through is disease is difficult enough.
You mentioned in your previous post about using this quilt as a possible gift sometime. My quilt group generously donated lap quilts to the nursing home my mom lived in. Maybe this is another avenue for you to use your talent for quilting. It was always so touching to see a resident with one of these lap quilts. And on her deathbed, Mom was covered with one of the quilts.
Mary, I’m so sorry for your loss. We seem to be arriving at the age where we’re becoming the older ones in the family.
And, Nicole, it’s so sad that Grandpa Larry is failing. You’re very lucky he continues to be a cheerful, gentle man.
How will I become as time marches on?…ugh. My grandmother raised my sister & me & she did not go out gracefully. So, we saw first-hand what the future may bring for us! ‘Mean as a snake’ about sums that one up!! Maybe that trait will skip a few generations but she once told us about her mother’s last years–same, same.
Mary, I’m so sorry for your loss. We seem to be arriving at the age where we’re becoming the older ones in the family.
And, Nicole, it’s so sad that Grandpa Larry is failing. You’re very lucky he continues to be a cheerful, gentle man.
How will I become as time marches on?…ugh. My grandmother raised my sister & me & she did not go out gracefully. So, we saw first-hand what the future may bring for us! ‘Mean as a snake’ about sums that one up!! Maybe that trait will skip a few generations but she once told us about her mother’s last years–same, same.
Mary, I’m so sorry for your loss. We seem to be arriving at the age where we’re becoming the older ones in the family.
And, Nicole, it’s so sad that Grandpa Larry is failing. You’re very lucky he continues to be a cheerful, gentle man.
How will I become as time marches on?…ugh. My grandmother raised my sister & me & she did not go out gracefully. So, we saw first-hand what the future may bring for us! ‘Mean as a snake’ about sums that one up!! Maybe that trait will skip a few generations but she once told us about her mother’s last years–same, same.
Dementia is such a strange condition with no predicting how an individual will present. My mother has turned into a very bitter angry person and her stress makes me feel even sadder for how she lives each day. I do sometimes fear for myself and how I will end my time here. One of the peculiar things my mother does is inspect herself and others for stray threads and lint so I have to make sure I don’t visit after a sewing session or it would drive her buggy picking threads. Keeping my own sense of humour helps a bit. Remembering how much love my mother had/has is a help too.
Dementia is such a strange condition with no predicting how an individual will present. My mother has turned into a very bitter angry person and her stress makes me feel even sadder for how she lives each day. I do sometimes fear for myself and how I will end my time here. One of the peculiar things my mother does is inspect herself and others for stray threads and lint so I have to make sure I don’t visit after a sewing session or it would drive her buggy picking threads. Keeping my own sense of humour helps a bit. Remembering how much love my mother had/has is a help too.
Dementia is such a strange condition with no predicting how an individual will present. My mother has turned into a very bitter angry person and her stress makes me feel even sadder for how she lives each day. I do sometimes fear for myself and how I will end my time here. One of the peculiar things my mother does is inspect herself and others for stray threads and lint so I have to make sure I don’t visit after a sewing session or it would drive her buggy picking threads. Keeping my own sense of humour helps a bit. Remembering how much love my mother had/has is a help too.
My father-in-law had dementia but died at 92 from a skin cancer. He remained a gentleman to the end. In just under nine years we have lost all our parents and in March I lost my husband. He died three weeks short of his 62nd birthday at home with me nursing him. He died a gentleman peacefully looking at me. It does make you think what our deaths will be like, peaceful I hope.
My father-in-law had dementia but died at 92 from a skin cancer. He remained a gentleman to the end. In just under nine years we have lost all our parents and in March I lost my husband. He died three weeks short of his 62nd birthday at home with me nursing him. He died a gentleman peacefully looking at me. It does make you think what our deaths will be like, peaceful I hope.
My father-in-law had dementia but died at 92 from a skin cancer. He remained a gentleman to the end. In just under nine years we have lost all our parents and in March I lost my husband. He died three weeks short of his 62nd birthday at home with me nursing him. He died a gentleman peacefully looking at me. It does make you think what our deaths will be like, peaceful I hope.
Love the quilt and again am astonished at your speed in getting those rediscovered blocks together, setting triangles and all. Applause!!
I am glad to hear that Grandpa Larry is hanging in there comfortably and that he’s still his kind, sweet self.
My mother also had Alzheimers so I know whereof all of you speak. My sympathies to Mary. Like Mary’s mother, my mother mentally “youthened” like Merlin in “The Sword in the Stone”. Mom didn’t exactly forget me (rationalization?), first I was too old to be her Barbara, then she was too young to know who the old people were in the picture of her and my dad. Then one day she was crying and I asked why. Her reply was that she was afraid her mother didn’t know where she was. I hugged her and told her that I’d talked to her mother and the message was to have fun and come home before supper time. The tears stopped.
As might be expected from a child, Mom’s behavior became childish before she eventually became silent and forgot how to walk or to sit down. Her last birthday was a few months before she died and we were astonished when she happily chimed in as we sang Happy Birthday to You.
I’m a nurse, so I commend to you The Seven Stages of Alzheimer’s you can find on-line as my mother’s course followed that exactly and it helped me to know what to expect next. I also read an article that noted at end stage Alzheimer’s the body forgets how to digest food so the patient eats but loses weight. Nothing can be done about that and a feeding tube won’t change it.
We could each write books, couldn’t we? And, yes, laughter helps immensely. You also need to forgive yourself that you couldn’t “fix it” and that, if you were caregiving, you could no longer stay up 24/7. Your parent wouldn’t want you ruining your health or your marriage keeping them at home when it’s killing you.
I’ve read that as long as what you’re trying to think of is eventually remembered, it’s not Alzheimer’s – yet.
Hugs all around!
Love the quilt and again am astonished at your speed in getting those rediscovered blocks together, setting triangles and all. Applause!!
I am glad to hear that Grandpa Larry is hanging in there comfortably and that he’s still his kind, sweet self.
My mother also had Alzheimers so I know whereof all of you speak. My sympathies to Mary. Like Mary’s mother, my mother mentally “youthened” like Merlin in “The Sword in the Stone”. Mom didn’t exactly forget me (rationalization?), first I was too old to be her Barbara, then she was too young to know who the old people were in the picture of her and my dad. Then one day she was crying and I asked why. Her reply was that she was afraid her mother didn’t know where she was. I hugged her and told her that I’d talked to her mother and the message was to have fun and come home before supper time. The tears stopped.
As might be expected from a child, Mom’s behavior became childish before she eventually became silent and forgot how to walk or to sit down. Her last birthday was a few months before she died and we were astonished when she happily chimed in as we sang Happy Birthday to You.
I’m a nurse, so I commend to you The Seven Stages of Alzheimer’s you can find on-line as my mother’s course followed that exactly and it helped me to know what to expect next. I also read an article that noted at end stage Alzheimer’s the body forgets how to digest food so the patient eats but loses weight. Nothing can be done about that and a feeding tube won’t change it.
We could each write books, couldn’t we? And, yes, laughter helps immensely. You also need to forgive yourself that you couldn’t “fix it” and that, if you were caregiving, you could no longer stay up 24/7. Your parent wouldn’t want you ruining your health or your marriage keeping them at home when it’s killing you.
I’ve read that as long as what you’re trying to think of is eventually remembered, it’s not Alzheimer’s – yet.
Hugs all around!
Love the quilt and again am astonished at your speed in getting those rediscovered blocks together, setting triangles and all. Applause!!
I am glad to hear that Grandpa Larry is hanging in there comfortably and that he’s still his kind, sweet self.
My mother also had Alzheimers so I know whereof all of you speak. My sympathies to Mary. Like Mary’s mother, my mother mentally “youthened” like Merlin in “The Sword in the Stone”. Mom didn’t exactly forget me (rationalization?), first I was too old to be her Barbara, then she was too young to know who the old people were in the picture of her and my dad. Then one day she was crying and I asked why. Her reply was that she was afraid her mother didn’t know where she was. I hugged her and told her that I’d talked to her mother and the message was to have fun and come home before supper time. The tears stopped.
As might be expected from a child, Mom’s behavior became childish before she eventually became silent and forgot how to walk or to sit down. Her last birthday was a few months before she died and we were astonished when she happily chimed in as we sang Happy Birthday to You.
I’m a nurse, so I commend to you The Seven Stages of Alzheimer’s you can find on-line as my mother’s course followed that exactly and it helped me to know what to expect next. I also read an article that noted at end stage Alzheimer’s the body forgets how to digest food so the patient eats but loses weight. Nothing can be done about that and a feeding tube won’t change it.
We could each write books, couldn’t we? And, yes, laughter helps immensely. You also need to forgive yourself that you couldn’t “fix it” and that, if you were caregiving, you could no longer stay up 24/7. Your parent wouldn’t want you ruining your health or your marriage keeping them at home when it’s killing you.
I’ve read that as long as what you’re trying to think of is eventually remembered, it’s not Alzheimer’s – yet.
Hugs all around!
Your post and the comments made me cry. My FIL passed away in January at the age of 95. He had mild dementia which got worse after his wife of almost 70 years died three years ago. He would accuse the neighbor of blaring music in the middle of the night, but there was no music. He could get pretty angry. We had to walk on egg shells sometimes because he thought we were accusing him of lying. It’s such a difficult time as they are still adults and in need of keeping their dignity. My FIL bowled every week until he had a stroke in October. My hubby’s family took care of him from October until he passed in January. I am proud to be a member of this family. They cared for their mother for three years, allowing their parents to remain in their own home. It was sacrificial but a beautiful testimony of love. Hang in there. This is only for a season.
Your post and the comments made me cry. My FIL passed away in January at the age of 95. He had mild dementia which got worse after his wife of almost 70 years died three years ago. He would accuse the neighbor of blaring music in the middle of the night, but there was no music. He could get pretty angry. We had to walk on egg shells sometimes because he thought we were accusing him of lying. It’s such a difficult time as they are still adults and in need of keeping their dignity. My FIL bowled every week until he had a stroke in October. My hubby’s family took care of him from October until he passed in January. I am proud to be a member of this family. They cared for their mother for three years, allowing their parents to remain in their own home. It was sacrificial but a beautiful testimony of love. Hang in there. This is only for a season.
Your post and the comments made me cry. My FIL passed away in January at the age of 95. He had mild dementia which got worse after his wife of almost 70 years died three years ago. He would accuse the neighbor of blaring music in the middle of the night, but there was no music. He could get pretty angry. We had to walk on egg shells sometimes because he thought we were accusing him of lying. It’s such a difficult time as they are still adults and in need of keeping their dignity. My FIL bowled every week until he had a stroke in October. My hubby’s family took care of him from October until he passed in January. I am proud to be a member of this family. They cared for their mother for three years, allowing their parents to remain in their own home. It was sacrificial but a beautiful testimony of love. Hang in there. This is only for a season.
My grandfather was one of the kindest, soft spoken men you would have ever wanted to meet. When he got older, though, he got ornery at times, which was a surprise to all of us. This didn’t happen till after he turned 100 so I guess he earned it! He passed away a month shy of his 104th birthday.
I’m glad Grandpa Larry is still his sweet self!!
My grandfather was one of the kindest, soft spoken men you would have ever wanted to meet. When he got older, though, he got ornery at times, which was a surprise to all of us. This didn’t happen till after he turned 100 so I guess he earned it! He passed away a month shy of his 104th birthday.
I’m glad Grandpa Larry is still his sweet self!!
My grandfather was one of the kindest, soft spoken men you would have ever wanted to meet. When he got older, though, he got ornery at times, which was a surprise to all of us. This didn’t happen till after he turned 100 so I guess he earned it! He passed away a month shy of his 104th birthday.
I’m glad Grandpa Larry is still his sweet self!!
I love your quilt (although still not my colors) it looks great! And I agree with Mary suggestion that you’ll give it again for a nursing home.
I’m lucky that no one in my family has Alzheimer so far but my mum’s mum had dementia in her last year (she died at the age of 96). My dad and I visited her once towards the end and she didn’t recognize us which was a bit scarry. The always messed around with names but so far she always recognized the people. Her end wasn’t a peaceful one and truth be told it would have been a mercy to let her die a few month earlier she almost did but my uncle didn’t let her go. And sometimes death is way kinder than life. My parents then let my brother and me promise that if the time comes they allowed to go. A tough promise to give but better than the alternative.
Don’t know how I’ll be when I’m old but I know I wanna die like my other grandma: ! week ill and in hospital and then a peacefully last sleep (she died at the age of 94 still almost 60 years to go:-)
I love your quilt (although still not my colors) it looks great! And I agree with Mary suggestion that you’ll give it again for a nursing home.
I’m lucky that no one in my family has Alzheimer so far but my mum’s mum had dementia in her last year (she died at the age of 96). My dad and I visited her once towards the end and she didn’t recognize us which was a bit scarry. The always messed around with names but so far she always recognized the people. Her end wasn’t a peaceful one and truth be told it would have been a mercy to let her die a few month earlier she almost did but my uncle didn’t let her go. And sometimes death is way kinder than life. My parents then let my brother and me promise that if the time comes they allowed to go. A tough promise to give but better than the alternative.
Don’t know how I’ll be when I’m old but I know I wanna die like my other grandma: ! week ill and in hospital and then a peacefully last sleep (she died at the age of 94 still almost 60 years to go:-)
I love your quilt (although still not my colors) it looks great! And I agree with Mary suggestion that you’ll give it again for a nursing home.
I’m lucky that no one in my family has Alzheimer so far but my mum’s mum had dementia in her last year (she died at the age of 96). My dad and I visited her once towards the end and she didn’t recognize us which was a bit scarry. The always messed around with names but so far she always recognized the people. Her end wasn’t a peaceful one and truth be told it would have been a mercy to let her die a few month earlier she almost did but my uncle didn’t let her go. And sometimes death is way kinder than life. My parents then let my brother and me promise that if the time comes they allowed to go. A tough promise to give but better than the alternative.
Don’t know how I’ll be when I’m old but I know I wanna die like my other grandma: ! week ill and in hospital and then a peacefully last sleep (she died at the age of 94 still almost 60 years to go:-)
dementia and alzheimer both suck…………but it is so sad and difficult for families to deal with when the personality changes so much………
dementia and alzheimer both suck…………but it is so sad and difficult for families to deal with when the personality changes so much………
dementia and alzheimer both suck…………but it is so sad and difficult for families to deal with when the personality changes so much………
I work as a respite worker aka personal support worker. I especially love to work with those with dementia, first because I am able to give their loved ones a much needed break but also using my creativity I am often able to reach these people on some level and see them experience joy 🙂
It is such an honor to be allowed to be a part of their journey.
I do wonder what I would be like as I tend to be a quiet introverted person. I have supported some people whom their families say we’re so quiet and dignified and they are horrified when their loved ones are cursing and behaving in ways they never would have. It is a cruel disease for sure.
I work as a respite worker aka personal support worker. I especially love to work with those with dementia, first because I am able to give their loved ones a much needed break but also using my creativity I am often able to reach these people on some level and see them experience joy 🙂
It is such an honor to be allowed to be a part of their journey.
I do wonder what I would be like as I tend to be a quiet introverted person. I have supported some people whom their families say we’re so quiet and dignified and they are horrified when their loved ones are cursing and behaving in ways they never would have. It is a cruel disease for sure.
I work as a respite worker aka personal support worker. I especially love to work with those with dementia, first because I am able to give their loved ones a much needed break but also using my creativity I am often able to reach these people on some level and see them experience joy 🙂
It is such an honor to be allowed to be a part of their journey.
I do wonder what I would be like as I tend to be a quiet introverted person. I have supported some people whom their families say we’re so quiet and dignified and they are horrified when their loved ones are cursing and behaving in ways they never would have. It is a cruel disease for sure.
Another beautiful quilt! Hooray on the finish of your found blocks and I just love all the purples.
Another beautiful quilt! Hooray on the finish of your found blocks and I just love all the purples.
Another beautiful quilt! Hooray on the finish of your found blocks and I just love all the purples.