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A few of you friends picked up on the fact that I called myself "a lady of leisure" in a recent post. It is true. The job that I had so wished for and was hired to do, turned out to be quite a different experience than I had expected.
I know I did my best. Showing up reliably, meeting deadlines, trying hard, being pleasant, having a positive attitude—none of it was enough. For the first time in my life I found myself working in a mean spirited atmosphere, amongst people who truly just didn't like me, for whatever reason. I had no mentors, no allies. No friends. I learned everything about my job by trial and error–there was certainly no training, and questions were discouraged. It was an odd place for sure.
Don't feel sorry for me. I was not a good fit for the company, nor was the company a good fit for me. They needed someone to fill the position and I needed a job. Both of us acted precipitously–they in hiring me and me in accepting the job offer. I have learned to think things through a bit more and not be so hasty, especially where something so precious as my time is concerned.
Now that the job is no more, I have a great feeling of relief. No income, but that cloud has a beautiful silver lining in that I have all the free time I could desire to work on my sewing projects and read books and spend time with my loved ones. I am overjoyed not to feel defined by that job any longer. Spending one's days in a negative atmosphere truly takes its toll on the soul!
I can tell you that it hasn't taken me long to bounce back from this less-than-pleasant experience. Self esteem still intact, I have already moved on, and am more appreciative than ever for the gift of my life, my family, my health, and my free time. Every experience we have shapes our character and soul, molding and transforming us, teaching us to know and love ourselves better as we progress along the path our our lives.
I am certain that my path through 2009 will bring knowledge, friendships, and treasured memories to me, and I wish the same for all of you. Happy New Year to all of you dear friends.
56 responses to “Be Careful What You Wish For”
Hi Nicole, I’ve been lurking at your blog for some time, but wanted to let you know how much I admire you for being true to yourself and having the courage to move on in your life. You are so talented and creative – hopefully you will find work that makes your heart sing. Best wishes for 2009! … Cindy
Hi Nicole, I’ve been lurking at your blog for some time, but wanted to let you know how much I admire you for being true to yourself and having the courage to move on in your life. You are so talented and creative – hopefully you will find work that makes your heart sing. Best wishes for 2009! … Cindy
You were so wise to leave that negative place. I’m glad it didn’t have time to change you.
You were so wise to leave that negative place. I’m glad it didn’t have time to change you.
You know, about a year ago I was being worn out by a part-time job on top of my regular job. It was a similar situation in that there was no feedback, no support; I felt I was working in a vacuum. I gave it up and we’ve managed fine without the extra income. Peace in the soul — priceless!
HNY, friend.
n, np
You know, about a year ago I was being worn out by a part-time job on top of my regular job. It was a similar situation in that there was no feedback, no support; I felt I was working in a vacuum. I gave it up and we’ve managed fine without the extra income. Peace in the soul — priceless!
HNY, friend.
n, np
When God closes a door, He opens a window. Sounds like you have an open window to put into play all the talents that you have. I hope you have a blessed New Year filled with happiness and fun! I can’t wait to see all the wonderful things you will create this year!!
When God closes a door, He opens a window. Sounds like you have an open window to put into play all the talents that you have. I hope you have a blessed New Year filled with happiness and fun! I can’t wait to see all the wonderful things you will create this year!!
Nicole, honey, I’m amazed. I can’t even imagine somebody not liking you. What a horrible place that must have been for you. Find comfort (I know you do) with your family, doggies, quilting, and books. And if you really need to work, I know the right job will come along. Bless you, dear friend, and Happy New Year to you and your family (and to Sophie and Ozzie).
Nicole, honey, I’m amazed. I can’t even imagine somebody not liking you. What a horrible place that must have been for you. Find comfort (I know you do) with your family, doggies, quilting, and books. And if you really need to work, I know the right job will come along. Bless you, dear friend, and Happy New Year to you and your family (and to Sophie and Ozzie).
Nicole, I am so happy for you to be back in the place you love – home!
Happy New Year.
Karen
Nicole, I am so happy for you to be back in the place you love – home!
Happy New Year.
Karen
I worked in that kind of environment for over 4 years, so I know just what you mean. Your time is too precious for all that.
I worked in that kind of environment for over 4 years, so I know just what you mean. Your time is too precious for all that.
Happy New Year. Glad you’re free of a negative experience. That would be awful. 2009 is going to be great! Happy New Year!
Happy New Year. Glad you’re free of a negative experience. That would be awful. 2009 is going to be great! Happy New Year!
Nicole I couldn’t be happier for you…I’m thrilled that you’re back home again doing what you love. I know Sophie and Ozzie are very, very happy.
Nicole I couldn’t be happier for you…I’m thrilled that you’re back home again doing what you love. I know Sophie and Ozzie are very, very happy.
I had a job like that at one time. It was a really negative place that sucked the joy out of me. It took me 2 1/2 years to figure that fact out so you’re lucky you got out early on. I don’t really have to work at this point in my life but I love where I work and I especially love the people I work with. I have a circle of girlfriends that I see everyday that I would really miss. But with a second grandchild on the way in July (YAY!) I could picture myself not working and spending more time with them. Something to think about this spring.
I had a job like that at one time. It was a really negative place that sucked the joy out of me. It took me 2 1/2 years to figure that fact out so you’re lucky you got out early on. I don’t really have to work at this point in my life but I love where I work and I especially love the people I work with. I have a circle of girlfriends that I see everyday that I would really miss. But with a second grandchild on the way in July (YAY!) I could picture myself not working and spending more time with them. Something to think about this spring.
I think life is going to be better for you—- no proof— just faith that it will be. While money will be tighter, I bet you feel better, have a better attitude, and be smarter in the long run. Just wait and see….
I think life is going to be better for you—- no proof— just faith that it will be. While money will be tighter, I bet you feel better, have a better attitude, and be smarter in the long run. Just wait and see….
What a beautifully written post with such a grand sense of awareness. You’ve gone through yet another awakening and you sound so healthy, so much like the Amazing Woman I know you to be.
What a beautifully written post with such a grand sense of awareness. You’ve gone through yet another awakening and you sound so healthy, so much like the Amazing Woman I know you to be.
Their loss, Nicole, definitely their loss. This just means there is something better and more wonderful in store for you!
I am finally caught up with the blog…all the lovely quilts and chat and sharing and family, love, doggies, fun, etc. Truly a great way to spend a cold winter day beside a fire with a nice cup of apple cider. It feels like friendship!
I took my first quilting class…hand-quilting, and it was tough with all those tiny stitches. This year I am ready to move on with machine quilting 101 and wondered if you have a recommendation for a machine…what should I get? If you had to do it, and start with a great machine, what would you get? I think a wonderful machine makes it more enjoyable, am I correct? If I were to need to struggle with a machine, I think the quilting would seem like a struggle as well! Thanks, Nicole!
Their loss, Nicole, definitely their loss. This just means there is something better and more wonderful in store for you!
I am finally caught up with the blog…all the lovely quilts and chat and sharing and family, love, doggies, fun, etc. Truly a great way to spend a cold winter day beside a fire with a nice cup of apple cider. It feels like friendship!
I took my first quilting class…hand-quilting, and it was tough with all those tiny stitches. This year I am ready to move on with machine quilting 101 and wondered if you have a recommendation for a machine…what should I get? If you had to do it, and start with a great machine, what would you get? I think a wonderful machine makes it more enjoyable, am I correct? If I were to need to struggle with a machine, I think the quilting would seem like a struggle as well! Thanks, Nicole!
Well, it’s good that you cut your losses before wasting any more of your time. I had a similar job when only the boss liked me. All the employees would move when I tried to sit by them in the cafeteria for lunch. Longest 6 months of my life. Bravo for getting out.
Well, it’s good that you cut your losses before wasting any more of your time. I had a similar job when only the boss liked me. All the employees would move when I tried to sit by them in the cafeteria for lunch. Longest 6 months of my life. Bravo for getting out.
Good luck in the New Year! I’m sorry things did not work out, but more time for family and quilting is great. I’ll look forward to seeing your 2009 projects.
Good luck in the New Year! I’m sorry things did not work out, but more time for family and quilting is great. I’ll look forward to seeing your 2009 projects.
Happy New Year. I’m another lurker, truly enjoying your blog (thank you!) I too worked in a job that just wasn’t a good fit for me. I worked there for two and half years! After I had my daughter, it became very clear that it just wasn’t a place I needed or wanted to spend time. Good for you for figuring it out much quicker than I did! Spending time in a bad situation is not good for anyone! I’m looking forward to more of your inspirational posts in 2009. Thank you!!
Happy New Year. I’m another lurker, truly enjoying your blog (thank you!) I too worked in a job that just wasn’t a good fit for me. I worked there for two and half years! After I had my daughter, it became very clear that it just wasn’t a place I needed or wanted to spend time. Good for you for figuring it out much quicker than I did! Spending time in a bad situation is not good for anyone! I’m looking forward to more of your inspirational posts in 2009. Thank you!!
Well good for you! I had a similar experience. My husband had become ill and retired, but I, being stubborn and afraid, kept working. I had worked there for 20 years and really loved my job. But then the atmosphere started changing at work. They no longer appreciated us “veterans” and I in particular felt less than appreciated by the administration. This coupled with the stress of taking care of an ill husband was too much. One day I had had enough so I went in and pleasantly told my boss that I was retiring. Whew! I gave them six months till the end of the budget season but that was a piece of cake. With the economy it’s scary. But I feel so much better. Some things are just meant to be!!! Maybe one day we can meet up at a quilt store and do lunchl. I’m sure that Sophie and Ozzie appreciate having you around. Speaking of the little darlings, you haven’t had any dog stories lately. Have you seen Marley and Me? Must watch.
xo
Well good for you! I had a similar experience. My husband had become ill and retired, but I, being stubborn and afraid, kept working. I had worked there for 20 years and really loved my job. But then the atmosphere started changing at work. They no longer appreciated us “veterans” and I in particular felt less than appreciated by the administration. This coupled with the stress of taking care of an ill husband was too much. One day I had had enough so I went in and pleasantly told my boss that I was retiring. Whew! I gave them six months till the end of the budget season but that was a piece of cake. With the economy it’s scary. But I feel so much better. Some things are just meant to be!!! Maybe one day we can meet up at a quilt store and do lunchl. I’m sure that Sophie and Ozzie appreciate having you around. Speaking of the little darlings, you haven’t had any dog stories lately. Have you seen Marley and Me? Must watch.
xo
I, too have been at a job that sucked the joy out of me. I was fortunate when they ‘eliminated my position’ so I could collect unemployment while I looked for a better fit. I am at a place now that I know I am meant to be and now I can make a difference. Good for you to make the leap of faith.
I, too have been at a job that sucked the joy out of me. I was fortunate when they ‘eliminated my position’ so I could collect unemployment while I looked for a better fit. I am at a place now that I know I am meant to be and now I can make a difference. Good for you to make the leap of faith.
Nicole – I wondered, but now I’m happy you have confirmed that you are, indeed, a lady of wonderful and happy leisure! I wish you great luck in finding a better fit in 2009 and in the mean time, I wish you much joy with Sophie, Ozzie, your sweetie and all your family and friends. Quilt on!
Nicole – I wondered, but now I’m happy you have confirmed that you are, indeed, a lady of wonderful and happy leisure! I wish you great luck in finding a better fit in 2009 and in the mean time, I wish you much joy with Sophie, Ozzie, your sweetie and all your family and friends. Quilt on!
Sounds like you made the right decision to leave. Negative people can really drag you down before you even know it.
Happy New Year!!!!!
Sounds like you made the right decision to leave. Negative people can really drag you down before you even know it.
Happy New Year!!!!!
Nicole, I have had one job in my life where I wasn’t liked at all and it lasted for two very long years. I look at that job as a learning experience. What environment I never want to work in again. I’m glad you didn’t wait two years to figure out that the fit wasn’t right. Hang in there. I know something perfect for you will come around. *hugs*
Nicole, I have had one job in my life where I wasn’t liked at all and it lasted for two very long years. I look at that job as a learning experience. What environment I never want to work in again. I’m glad you didn’t wait two years to figure out that the fit wasn’t right. Hang in there. I know something perfect for you will come around. *hugs*
Hi Nicole!
I know that it has been awhile since I commented, but I have been keeping up w/your blog. I am proud that you battled through the bad work environment. You don’t think about it, but it does make a difference, especially when you spend your entire day with these people. In some cases, you spend more time w/them than your family! Anyway, a job is just a job. It can’t replace your happiness!
Thanks for sharing and I can’t wait to see what you do with your time now!
Happy New Year!
Hi Nicole!
I know that it has been awhile since I commented, but I have been keeping up w/your blog. I am proud that you battled through the bad work environment. You don’t think about it, but it does make a difference, especially when you spend your entire day with these people. In some cases, you spend more time w/them than your family! Anyway, a job is just a job. It can’t replace your happiness!
Thanks for sharing and I can’t wait to see what you do with your time now!
Happy New Year!
Nicole, you are a wonderful writer – maybe a job in this field could be in your future during 2009? Something to think about.
Nicole, you are a wonderful writer – maybe a job in this field could be in your future during 2009? Something to think about.
The best news is that you didn’t let this experience make you doubt your fabulosity! You’re very wise to know that it wasn’t a good fit for either of you, and that it wasn’t any reflection on you, your skills or your abilities. How did you get so wise?
After reading your post, it struck me again as an example of how we choose our behavior, and in doing so, we choose the person we are. It would have been easy for you to be angry, hurt, or depressed, but you chose to see this as a learning experience. And you chose to be positive, and to think positively about what has happened, and you looked at the benefit of some leisure time that you’re now reaping… however long it may last. No wonder we all like you so much! 🙂
Good luck and much happiness and success to you in 2009!
The best news is that you didn’t let this experience make you doubt your fabulosity! You’re very wise to know that it wasn’t a good fit for either of you, and that it wasn’t any reflection on you, your skills or your abilities. How did you get so wise?
After reading your post, it struck me again as an example of how we choose our behavior, and in doing so, we choose the person we are. It would have been easy for you to be angry, hurt, or depressed, but you chose to see this as a learning experience. And you chose to be positive, and to think positively about what has happened, and you looked at the benefit of some leisure time that you’re now reaping… however long it may last. No wonder we all like you so much! 🙂
Good luck and much happiness and success to you in 2009!
Yipee! More time to be home with friends and family sewing!!! Happy New Year to you Nicole!
Yipee! More time to be home with friends and family sewing!!! Happy New Year to you Nicole!
Nicole, I had a job that I loved and it loved me, I had lots of friends and enjoyed waking up every morning. Then I started getting promoted and found myself in a management position (that I had wished for)… The money was good and my husband was in a good job. We were not wealthy but we had everything we needed and most of what we wanted. BUT…suddenly I was everyone’s enemy, literally everyone’s. It was like my world changed overnight. I spent 8 of the most miserable years of my life in that position, the last 4, trying to downgrade to get a lower paying job out of management but to no avail. Finally, after spending 3 days in ICU with health problems directly related to stress at 45 yrs old, I realized I couldn’t live like that any longer. I went to work the day I got out of the hospital and told them I would be gone as soon as I could clean out my desk. I walked out on April 8, 1995 and have never looked back. Yes we have less money but I can still buy fabric to quilt and books to read. I’m so glad you are out of such a bad situation and truly hope you find the peace you seek. As someone said earlier, the right job will come along in time. Like your post says, “be careful what you wish for”. Also like everyone else, I’ll be watching for lots of beautiful blocks, and quilts here.
God Bless,
Nancy
Nicole, I had a job that I loved and it loved me, I had lots of friends and enjoyed waking up every morning. Then I started getting promoted and found myself in a management position (that I had wished for)… The money was good and my husband was in a good job. We were not wealthy but we had everything we needed and most of what we wanted. BUT…suddenly I was everyone’s enemy, literally everyone’s. It was like my world changed overnight. I spent 8 of the most miserable years of my life in that position, the last 4, trying to downgrade to get a lower paying job out of management but to no avail. Finally, after spending 3 days in ICU with health problems directly related to stress at 45 yrs old, I realized I couldn’t live like that any longer. I went to work the day I got out of the hospital and told them I would be gone as soon as I could clean out my desk. I walked out on April 8, 1995 and have never looked back. Yes we have less money but I can still buy fabric to quilt and books to read. I’m so glad you are out of such a bad situation and truly hope you find the peace you seek. As someone said earlier, the right job will come along in time. Like your post says, “be careful what you wish for”. Also like everyone else, I’ll be watching for lots of beautiful blocks, and quilts here.
God Bless,
Nancy
I am so happy for you that you are out of that atmosphere! How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. Spending a life sewing and blessing others sounds just like what a girl needs!
I am so happy for you that you are out of that atmosphere! How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. Spending a life sewing and blessing others sounds just like what a girl needs!
Hooray for you Nicole! I long to have more time for sewing, reading and spending time with family & friends. I really detest my job…it causes much stress and muscle aches….I’m hoping to get ‘brave’ this year and walk away from the income and try and make-do and be happy without it! Hubby’s scared…very scared. LOL Quilt on, Nicole! Quilt on!
Hooray for you Nicole! I long to have more time for sewing, reading and spending time with family & friends. I really detest my job…it causes much stress and muscle aches….I’m hoping to get ‘brave’ this year and walk away from the income and try and make-do and be happy without it! Hubby’s scared…very scared. LOL Quilt on, Nicole! Quilt on!