This is the third block in the Halloween Figs sew along, hosted by The Quilt Spot. I tell you, this block took a minute. The half-square triangles measured 2 5/8", so using triangle papers wasn't an option. I made them a bit bigger and trimmed them down to size, and everything came together beautifully. As a matter of fact, I am completely amazed at how great this block worked out. All the points are right on the mark, and everything lines up perfectly.
This quilt has some blocks with applique coming up, so wish me luck. Every time I do machine applique it is like reinventing the wheel. I guess I just need to do it more often.
I don't have any pictures to share, but Eva had a swim meet last night and man oh man, can that girl swim! She came in first or second in every heat she was in. In other heats for the same event, some other kid may have beat her time, but goodness, she did great. What a good swimmer she is. Freestyle and breaststroke are her events for sure.
Tomorrow is Eva's twelfth birthday, can you believe it? She has turned into such a lovely young lady. Her other grandma gave her a gift certificate for her birthday and she used it to get a new backpack for middle school, which starts on August 16. This is going to be a sad weekend for us. Her other grandpa passed away a few weeks ago and the family is attending a memorial service for him. I can imagine it could be upsetting for her to see the grownups in her family sad and upset at the event.
Do any of you have experience with taking kids to memorial services or funerals? In the old days, when I was a kid, it was customary to have the deceased in a coffin at the funeral home prior to the burial, and people would come over a couple of days and pay their respects with an open coffin situation. I recall being 10, and attending the funeral/wake of my grandmother and being quite traumatized by it. By that I mean, I spent many sleepless nights afterward recalling the event and endlessly reexamining the images in my mind of my lifeless beloved grandma. This weekend will be quite different in that it is a celebration of life where the accomplishments of the deceased will be lauded, and he will already have been cremated, but I still wonder about having a 12-year-old attend. Is that an appropriate age to go through this experience? She is a pretty pragmatic kid, so I think she will be fine. What do you think? Her attendance is not my decision, but you all always have such wise observations, I'd love to know your thoughts and experiences in similar circumstances.
63 responses to “I Had One Block In Me”
I’m with you on the open casket situation but I think Eva is old enough to attend a memorial service. She will probably hear a lot of very positive things about her grandpa, stories she may not have known, and be left with good memories of him. Of course, there may be some tears too but I expect she can handle it.
BTW, I love that block, it is perfection!
I’m with you on the open casket situation but I think Eva is old enough to attend a memorial service. She will probably hear a lot of very positive things about her grandpa, stories she may not have known, and be left with good memories of him. Of course, there may be some tears too but I expect she can handle it.
BTW, I love that block, it is perfection!
I’m with you on the open casket situation but I think Eva is old enough to attend a memorial service. She will probably hear a lot of very positive things about her grandpa, stories she may not have known, and be left with good memories of him. Of course, there may be some tears too but I expect she can handle it.
BTW, I love that block, it is perfection!
In my experience she is old enough to attend, but suggest she be allowed to drive how much she participates, meaning she should decide if she wants to go up to the casket or not. Interacting with others, remembering her grandpa, hearing (and maybe telling) stories are all part of the grieving, and healing, process…and a way to begin dealing with the feelings she is going to have at the loss of her grandpa in a supportive environment.
In my experience she is old enough to attend, but suggest she be allowed to drive how much she participates, meaning she should decide if she wants to go up to the casket or not. Interacting with others, remembering her grandpa, hearing (and maybe telling) stories are all part of the grieving, and healing, process…and a way to begin dealing with the feelings she is going to have at the loss of her grandpa in a supportive environment.
In my experience she is old enough to attend, but suggest she be allowed to drive how much she participates, meaning she should decide if she wants to go up to the casket or not. Interacting with others, remembering her grandpa, hearing (and maybe telling) stories are all part of the grieving, and healing, process…and a way to begin dealing with the feelings she is going to have at the loss of her grandpa in a supportive environment.
I think it is a good idea your daughter attends the celebration of life service. She needs the experience of celebrating her grandparent’s life. It’s not the open casket situation. She needs to learn the cycle of life and, although we are sad at a loved one’s passing, we can remember and cherish the memories with them.
I think it is a good idea your daughter attends the celebration of life service. She needs the experience of celebrating her grandparent’s life. It’s not the open casket situation. She needs to learn the cycle of life and, although we are sad at a loved one’s passing, we can remember and cherish the memories with them.
I think it is a good idea your daughter attends the celebration of life service. She needs the experience of celebrating her grandparent’s life. It’s not the open casket situation. She needs to learn the cycle of life and, although we are sad at a loved one’s passing, we can remember and cherish the memories with them.
My son was only 10 when his beloved grandfather died. He lived next door and they were buddies! He was devastated but came to the funeral home ,mostly hung out near the back of the room. The casket was in the front. We let him decide if he wanted to view his grandfather.
So sorry for your loss.
My son was only 10 when his beloved grandfather died. He lived next door and they were buddies! He was devastated but came to the funeral home ,mostly hung out near the back of the room. The casket was in the front. We let him decide if he wanted to view his grandfather.
So sorry for your loss.
My son was only 10 when his beloved grandfather died. He lived next door and they were buddies! He was devastated but came to the funeral home ,mostly hung out near the back of the room. The casket was in the front. We let him decide if he wanted to view his grandfather.
So sorry for your loss.
One of my great uncles passed away when I was eight. He and his wife raised my dad. While seeing him in a coffin didn’t really bother me, seeing my dad cry was very touching. But in the long run, I think it was good to see him have a soft side like everyone does. To this day, I cannot remember another time seeing him cry.
One of my great uncles passed away when I was eight. He and his wife raised my dad. While seeing him in a coffin didn’t really bother me, seeing my dad cry was very touching. But in the long run, I think it was good to see him have a soft side like everyone does. To this day, I cannot remember another time seeing him cry.
One of my great uncles passed away when I was eight. He and his wife raised my dad. While seeing him in a coffin didn’t really bother me, seeing my dad cry was very touching. But in the long run, I think it was good to see him have a soft side like everyone does. To this day, I cannot remember another time seeing him cry.
Sounds like a celebration of life would be a lot easier on everyone. At 11 our Sunday school class went to the viewing of another 11 year old member who had drowned. The boys in our class were on a camping trip and some went in the water unsupervised and he got tangled in whatever was growing, couldn’t get loose, drowned. He had bruises and it was traumatic to see him laying in a coffin. I didn’t want to go to the funeral and luckily my dad gave me the choice. It’s given me a fear of drowning and a respect of water’s danger. That was 53 years ago.
Sounds like a celebration of life would be a lot easier on everyone. At 11 our Sunday school class went to the viewing of another 11 year old member who had drowned. The boys in our class were on a camping trip and some went in the water unsupervised and he got tangled in whatever was growing, couldn’t get loose, drowned. He had bruises and it was traumatic to see him laying in a coffin. I didn’t want to go to the funeral and luckily my dad gave me the choice. It’s given me a fear of drowning and a respect of water’s danger. That was 53 years ago.
Sounds like a celebration of life would be a lot easier on everyone. At 11 our Sunday school class went to the viewing of another 11 year old member who had drowned. The boys in our class were on a camping trip and some went in the water unsupervised and he got tangled in whatever was growing, couldn’t get loose, drowned. He had bruises and it was traumatic to see him laying in a coffin. I didn’t want to go to the funeral and luckily my dad gave me the choice. It’s given me a fear of drowning and a respect of water’s danger. That was 53 years ago.
From the time I was a toddler I was taken to the funeral home whenever a friend or family member died (my parents and grandparents knew a lot of people!). To my mind, it made things so much easier for me when it came to funerals for my close family and friends. I knew what to expect and how to deal with the grief. I think it’s the not knowing that causes so many problems for people when they have to deal with death for the first time as adults. Eva might have questions and concerns, but this will help her on the road to acceptance and understanding. Just my humble opinion!
From the time I was a toddler I was taken to the funeral home whenever a friend or family member died (my parents and grandparents knew a lot of people!). To my mind, it made things so much easier for me when it came to funerals for my close family and friends. I knew what to expect and how to deal with the grief. I think it’s the not knowing that causes so many problems for people when they have to deal with death for the first time as adults. Eva might have questions and concerns, but this will help her on the road to acceptance and understanding. Just my humble opinion!
From the time I was a toddler I was taken to the funeral home whenever a friend or family member died (my parents and grandparents knew a lot of people!). To my mind, it made things so much easier for me when it came to funerals for my close family and friends. I knew what to expect and how to deal with the grief. I think it’s the not knowing that causes so many problems for people when they have to deal with death for the first time as adults. Eva might have questions and concerns, but this will help her on the road to acceptance and understanding. Just my humble opinion!
I definitely think Eva should go. It’s an opportunity to see how much so many people cared about her grandfather, to hear lots of stories about him, and to share in the grief. It’s also a concrete opportunity to realise he is really gone, and to continue the process of grieving and saying goodbye.
I definitely think Eva should go. It’s an opportunity to see how much so many people cared about her grandfather, to hear lots of stories about him, and to share in the grief. It’s also a concrete opportunity to realise he is really gone, and to continue the process of grieving and saying goodbye.
I definitely think Eva should go. It’s an opportunity to see how much so many people cared about her grandfather, to hear lots of stories about him, and to share in the grief. It’s also a concrete opportunity to realise he is really gone, and to continue the process of grieving and saying goodbye.
I believe a celebration of life is the best way to honor someone—not a fan of open casket—Eva is a smart cookie, and as others have said, she can hear stories of her grandpa, and hold those close to her. Death is part of life, and this will be an opportunity to see and learn what happens, and start processing her grief.
I believe a celebration of life is the best way to honor someone—not a fan of open casket—Eva is a smart cookie, and as others have said, she can hear stories of her grandpa, and hold those close to her. Death is part of life, and this will be an opportunity to see and learn what happens, and start processing her grief.
I believe a celebration of life is the best way to honor someone—not a fan of open casket—Eva is a smart cookie, and as others have said, she can hear stories of her grandpa, and hold those close to her. Death is part of life, and this will be an opportunity to see and learn what happens, and start processing her grief.
call it what you may, there is still the elephant (coffin) in the room. with our girls we made attendance mandatory, but participation at their own volition. don’t look unless you want to (they won’t look like you remember them ), you can sit with us or in the lobby (wherever you feel comfortable) know that we are sad, but lots of stories will be told that you have never heard before (bet you never knew that!?), cemeteries can be places of beauty (look around at growing things), when its all over, hug the dog!!
call it what you may, there is still the elephant (coffin) in the room. with our girls we made attendance mandatory, but participation at their own volition. don’t look unless you want to (they won’t look like you remember them ), you can sit with us or in the lobby (wherever you feel comfortable) know that we are sad, but lots of stories will be told that you have never heard before (bet you never knew that!?), cemeteries can be places of beauty (look around at growing things), when its all over, hug the dog!!
call it what you may, there is still the elephant (coffin) in the room. with our girls we made attendance mandatory, but participation at their own volition. don’t look unless you want to (they won’t look like you remember them ), you can sit with us or in the lobby (wherever you feel comfortable) know that we are sad, but lots of stories will be told that you have never heard before (bet you never knew that!?), cemeteries can be places of beauty (look around at growing things), when its all over, hug the dog!!
ps kids will take their clues from you. relax.
ps kids will take their clues from you. relax.
ps kids will take their clues from you. relax.
I think attending funerals and memorial services are a great chance to honor and remember loved ones. We do a lot of talking and telling stories before, during, and after. We talk about why we cry—that we are lonely for their company. My grands all attended their great grandmother’s funerals and loved it. It’s also a wonderful family time. It’s all about the conversation surrounding the event.
On another note:I remember when Eva was born. I’ve been following you a long time and enjoy being part of your journey
I think attending funerals and memorial services are a great chance to honor and remember loved ones. We do a lot of talking and telling stories before, during, and after. We talk about why we cry—that we are lonely for their company. My grands all attended their great grandmother’s funerals and loved it. It’s also a wonderful family time. It’s all about the conversation surrounding the event.
On another note:I remember when Eva was born. I’ve been following you a long time and enjoy being part of your journey
I think attending funerals and memorial services are a great chance to honor and remember loved ones. We do a lot of talking and telling stories before, during, and after. We talk about why we cry—that we are lonely for their company. My grands all attended their great grandmother’s funerals and loved it. It’s also a wonderful family time. It’s all about the conversation surrounding the event.
On another note:I remember when Eva was born. I’ve been following you a long time and enjoy being part of your journey
I think it is important for children to learn the celebration of life angle while they are young. Then they can understand the happiness of the people sharing the stories and how much the deceased shared with all of them when alive.
I think it is important for children to learn the celebration of life angle while they are young. Then they can understand the happiness of the people sharing the stories and how much the deceased shared with all of them when alive.
I think it is important for children to learn the celebration of life angle while they are young. Then they can understand the happiness of the people sharing the stories and how much the deceased shared with all of them when alive.
how heartbreaking to lose her grandfather. the best services to me are when people share their memories of the one that is gone. her poor grandmother must be devastated. I hope the service brings some comfort to all of you. lots of hugs to all of you.
how heartbreaking to lose her grandfather. the best services to me are when people share their memories of the one that is gone. her poor grandmother must be devastated. I hope the service brings some comfort to all of you. lots of hugs to all of you.
how heartbreaking to lose her grandfather. the best services to me are when people share their memories of the one that is gone. her poor grandmother must be devastated. I hope the service brings some comfort to all of you. lots of hugs to all of you.
I think Eva is both old enough & wise enough to join the family to remember her grandfather. She may even feel left out if she weren’t included in the day. We attended a celebration of life for longtime friends with their family in June. Their two adult kids scattered their ashes in a meadow in a national park (permit required). The great grandkids (4 & 6) were with the 9 adults & saw our tears as well as heard the laughter over a couple of days together. I believe they understood we were sad but were also enjoying the shared memories. Being so young they took to coloring & drawing when we were indoors but I think they understood that the grown-ups needed to be together for a little while to tell our stories. I agree with the others that it’s a natural circle of life experience that Eva can be a part of.
I think Eva is both old enough & wise enough to join the family to remember her grandfather. She may even feel left out if she weren’t included in the day. We attended a celebration of life for longtime friends with their family in June. Their two adult kids scattered their ashes in a meadow in a national park (permit required). The great grandkids (4 & 6) were with the 9 adults & saw our tears as well as heard the laughter over a couple of days together. I believe they understood we were sad but were also enjoying the shared memories. Being so young they took to coloring & drawing when we were indoors but I think they understood that the grown-ups needed to be together for a little while to tell our stories. I agree with the others that it’s a natural circle of life experience that Eva can be a part of.
I think Eva is both old enough & wise enough to join the family to remember her grandfather. She may even feel left out if she weren’t included in the day. We attended a celebration of life for longtime friends with their family in June. Their two adult kids scattered their ashes in a meadow in a national park (permit required). The great grandkids (4 & 6) were with the 9 adults & saw our tears as well as heard the laughter over a couple of days together. I believe they understood we were sad but were also enjoying the shared memories. Being so young they took to coloring & drawing when we were indoors but I think they understood that the grown-ups needed to be together for a little while to tell our stories. I agree with the others that it’s a natural circle of life experience that Eva can be a part of.
My husband and I have taken our kids to 4 funeral/memorial services. Last month, it was to the funeral of our 44-yr-old sister-in-law. I grew up going to the funeral services of my extended family members who passed (my dad had a huge Italian family), plus my mother passed before I was grown. So, I thought it was normal to take kids to services. You know how what you grow up with is your own “normal”, right? My husband had never been to one until he was an adult, so he didn’t think kids went to this sort of thing. When the first one came up for us after our kids were born, I said it was important to me for our kids to go — to experience all the things of life, which includes death. And we handled it how my parents had: LOTS of talking. Ahead of time, we explained roughly how it would all go and what to expect. And then we continually welcomed questions and answered whatever they asked. When we had to go to that devastating funeral last month, our kids were emotionally and behaviorally ready to face that hard, hard day (not that one can ever be truly “ready” — they were at least “practiced”). Some of their cousins hadn’t been to any funerals before, and it was certainly even more difficult for them on that day because the whole setting was new.
My husband and I have taken our kids to 4 funeral/memorial services. Last month, it was to the funeral of our 44-yr-old sister-in-law. I grew up going to the funeral services of my extended family members who passed (my dad had a huge Italian family), plus my mother passed before I was grown. So, I thought it was normal to take kids to services. You know how what you grow up with is your own “normal”, right? My husband had never been to one until he was an adult, so he didn’t think kids went to this sort of thing. When the first one came up for us after our kids were born, I said it was important to me for our kids to go — to experience all the things of life, which includes death. And we handled it how my parents had: LOTS of talking. Ahead of time, we explained roughly how it would all go and what to expect. And then we continually welcomed questions and answered whatever they asked. When we had to go to that devastating funeral last month, our kids were emotionally and behaviorally ready to face that hard, hard day (not that one can ever be truly “ready” — they were at least “practiced”). Some of their cousins hadn’t been to any funerals before, and it was certainly even more difficult for them on that day because the whole setting was new.
My husband and I have taken our kids to 4 funeral/memorial services. Last month, it was to the funeral of our 44-yr-old sister-in-law. I grew up going to the funeral services of my extended family members who passed (my dad had a huge Italian family), plus my mother passed before I was grown. So, I thought it was normal to take kids to services. You know how what you grow up with is your own “normal”, right? My husband had never been to one until he was an adult, so he didn’t think kids went to this sort of thing. When the first one came up for us after our kids were born, I said it was important to me for our kids to go — to experience all the things of life, which includes death. And we handled it how my parents had: LOTS of talking. Ahead of time, we explained roughly how it would all go and what to expect. And then we continually welcomed questions and answered whatever they asked. When we had to go to that devastating funeral last month, our kids were emotionally and behaviorally ready to face that hard, hard day (not that one can ever be truly “ready” — they were at least “practiced”). Some of their cousins hadn’t been to any funerals before, and it was certainly even more difficult for them on that day because the whole setting was new.
Growing up Catholic, I attended many open casket wakes. It was just what happened after someone died, and I really did not think anything of it. Death was part of life, as was taught as I was growing up. That being said, I did not like walking up to the open casket to say my goodbyes. It was many times the only memory I had of the person who past away. It really sticks out in a young person’s mind. Knowing what to expect is helpful!
Growing up Catholic, I attended many open casket wakes. It was just what happened after someone died, and I really did not think anything of it. Death was part of life, as was taught as I was growing up. That being said, I did not like walking up to the open casket to say my goodbyes. It was many times the only memory I had of the person who past away. It really sticks out in a young person’s mind. Knowing what to expect is helpful!
Growing up Catholic, I attended many open casket wakes. It was just what happened after someone died, and I really did not think anything of it. Death was part of life, as was taught as I was growing up. That being said, I did not like walking up to the open casket to say my goodbyes. It was many times the only memory I had of the person who past away. It really sticks out in a young person’s mind. Knowing what to expect is helpful!
My son attended his Grandfather’s celebration of life at 11 a year and half ago. While he was emotional, he did fine and I think it was better for him and his sister (8) to attend and have closure. I am very sorry for your loss!
My son attended his Grandfather’s celebration of life at 11 a year and half ago. While he was emotional, he did fine and I think it was better for him and his sister (8) to attend and have closure. I am very sorry for your loss!
My son attended his Grandfather’s celebration of life at 11 a year and half ago. While he was emotional, he did fine and I think it was better for him and his sister (8) to attend and have closure. I am very sorry for your loss!
Never done an open casket but I would not like to do that either…….Eva’s age I would let her decide what she wants to do……if she wants to go or stay home……..Just having ashes will be different but I recently got caught at a small gathering for family to toss some ashes into a river….. I have never had anything to do with ashes but I found it a bit confronting to be handed the container and tip some ashes in the river also…(and not slide into the muddy rivers edge and drop the container also)…..but I was not expecting to do this until the container was passed to me…….I may have felt a bit better if I had been prepared in my mind prior……..
Let Eva decide but maybe give her a heads up at what might happen there……also different for an old person who has lived a long life…….so many stories can come out…..wonderful to find these things out…….
Never done an open casket but I would not like to do that either…….Eva’s age I would let her decide what she wants to do……if she wants to go or stay home……..Just having ashes will be different but I recently got caught at a small gathering for family to toss some ashes into a river….. I have never had anything to do with ashes but I found it a bit confronting to be handed the container and tip some ashes in the river also…(and not slide into the muddy rivers edge and drop the container also)…..but I was not expecting to do this until the container was passed to me…….I may have felt a bit better if I had been prepared in my mind prior……..
Let Eva decide but maybe give her a heads up at what might happen there……also different for an old person who has lived a long life…….so many stories can come out…..wonderful to find these things out…….
Never done an open casket but I would not like to do that either…….Eva’s age I would let her decide what she wants to do……if she wants to go or stay home……..Just having ashes will be different but I recently got caught at a small gathering for family to toss some ashes into a river….. I have never had anything to do with ashes but I found it a bit confronting to be handed the container and tip some ashes in the river also…(and not slide into the muddy rivers edge and drop the container also)…..but I was not expecting to do this until the container was passed to me…….I may have felt a bit better if I had been prepared in my mind prior……..
Let Eva decide but maybe give her a heads up at what might happen there……also different for an old person who has lived a long life…….so many stories can come out…..wonderful to find these things out…….
When my Mom passed away recently all her great grandchildren attended. The difference was there was no viewing, it was a few weeks after her death and the emphasis was on sharing my Moms wonderful life, viewing pictures, sharing memories. It was a positive experience for them.
When my Mom passed away recently all her great grandchildren attended. The difference was there was no viewing, it was a few weeks after her death and the emphasis was on sharing my Moms wonderful life, viewing pictures, sharing memories. It was a positive experience for them.
When my Mom passed away recently all her great grandchildren attended. The difference was there was no viewing, it was a few weeks after her death and the emphasis was on sharing my Moms wonderful life, viewing pictures, sharing memories. It was a positive experience for them.
I think it’s better for Eva to go and see what it’s all about than imagine it and for her to feel like she’s a part of it and the family. It was normal for us, as children, to go to funerals. My BIL didn’t go to a funeral until he was 14 – unfortunately it was his fathers’ so double the trauma. I always like it when parents bring their babies and toddlers to the grands’ funerals because it is such a good distraction from all the sadness and a reminder that life carries on.
I think it’s better for Eva to go and see what it’s all about than imagine it and for her to feel like she’s a part of it and the family. It was normal for us, as children, to go to funerals. My BIL didn’t go to a funeral until he was 14 – unfortunately it was his fathers’ so double the trauma. I always like it when parents bring their babies and toddlers to the grands’ funerals because it is such a good distraction from all the sadness and a reminder that life carries on.
I think it’s better for Eva to go and see what it’s all about than imagine it and for her to feel like she’s a part of it and the family. It was normal for us, as children, to go to funerals. My BIL didn’t go to a funeral until he was 14 – unfortunately it was his fathers’ so double the trauma. I always like it when parents bring their babies and toddlers to the grands’ funerals because it is such a good distraction from all the sadness and a reminder that life carries on.